I doubt many times about my feeling, sometimes I felt like dying when someone threat me in unpleasant ways. When I used to that feeling, then felt nothing with that persons. I also do the same with them.
Did I do wrong?
Doubting myself, am I the dead fish that can only follow the tide?
Ain't I hate that much enough to cannot let that happen with me?
I feel that it's more easier for me to feel nothing with someone more than try to hate them.
I think that is that is my weak point.
I still remember that sentence that resound in my head;
“If you feel like dying, why ain't you try fight to the end and dying like the proud one.
Ain't it better than die like a loser?
Ain't it worth living till dead to fight on what you believed?”
Thank for that words, it's still on my conscious all the time;
If I had time enough to regret on what I should regret;
Why ain't I use that time to fight on?
May the time by my side this time, and wish that I must not screw it up.